The Pros and Cons of Doing a First Look

One of the most common questions a couple will be asked when they start wedding planning, begin creating a wedding day timeline, or book a photographer will be: "Are you doing a first look?" If you're unfamiliar, a first look allows the couple to see each other for the first time before the ceremony. First looks are typically right after the couple has finished getting ready, and will see each other before the ceremony.

Evan & Cass' first look at Tower Grove Park in St. Louis, Missouri before their Ceremony at The Noble in STL

Because of how often you'll be asked if you're doing a first look, it's important to know both the pros and cons of doing one, versus not doing a first look! We've created the full guide below to guide you on your decision of whether or not to do a first look!

Pros:

More time for portraits

• A first look allows you to get a big chunk of your wedding portraits done before the ceremony. This means you’ll have more flexibility to get the dreamy, relaxed, and un-rushed photos you want—together, with your wedding party, and even with family!

Shorter Cocktail hour:

• Because many of your formal portraits are done pre-ceremony, you may not need an extended cocktail hour. This means less waiting time for your guests—and quicker access to the reception fun!

You and Your Partner Can Join Cocktail hour:

• Instead of shortening it, you could opt to attend cocktail hour yourselves! This gives you time to mingle, enjoy the drinks and apps you paid for, and soak in the vibes with your favorite people.

Builds wiggle room into the timeline:

• Things happen. Ceremonies can start late, traffic delays guests, or hair and makeup might run over. If your portraits are already done, you won’t be stressed about losing light—especially if you're getting married in the fall or winter when the sun sets earlier.

Calms your nerves

• Many couples say that seeing their partner before the ceremony helped them feel so much calmer and present for the rest of the day. Sharing a quiet, emotional moment together can help ground you amidst all the wedding day chaos.

More intimate moment

• The first look gives you space to react authentically and emotionally, without a hundred eyes on you. You can hug, talk, cry, or laugh—whatever feels right.

Cons:

You lose the traditional aisle reveal

• Some couples dream of the emotional moment of seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony. A first look doesn't mean you won't still feel emotional, but it does shift when and how that moment happens.

Earlier start to the day:

• To make time for a first look, you may need to start hair and makeup earlier—sometimes even hours earlier. This can be tiring, especially for larger wedding parties or more complex beauty timelines.

Can feel staged

• Because your planner and photographer will help set up the first look location and flow, some couples worry it will feel overly orchestrated. A great vendor team will make it feel natural—but it’s okay to feel unsure if you prefer more organic moments.

More wear on your dress

• With more movement before the ceremony, there’s more opportunity to accidentally pick up dirt or damage your dress—especially if you're taking portraits outdoors. If you opt for a first look, have a bridal attendant or trusted friend help carry your train, and have some shout wipes or tide to-go pens on hand just in case!

Alternatives to first looks:

Not sold on a first look? There are a few sweet alternatives that still allow for connection before the ceremony without seeing each other:

Photo by Toni Angelina Photo at Ashton Gardens Atlanta

First touch: A "first touch" allows you to hold hands or stand back-to-back without seeing each other. It’s a meaningful way to calm nerves and share a quiet moment together while still saving the big reveal for the aisle.

• During a first touch you can...

  • read your vows to each other

  • pray or meditate together

  • exchange gifts

  • or just chat about your day so far!

Letter exchange: If you’d rather stay totally separate, you can exchange heartfelt letters instead. Ask a member of your wedding party or a planner to deliver them to each other. Reading your partner’s words before the ceremony can still offer comfort and connection.

Gift exchange: Like a letter exchange, but with something tangible. It could be a sentimental keepsake, something fun or inside-jokey to make them laugh, or even an accessory to wear on the day. (Bonus: great photo op!)

In the end, whether or not you do a first look is a personal choice—one that should feel true to you and your partner. Not your family, not your vendors, and definitely not TikTok.

There are on-time weddings that skip first looks, and delayed weddings that had them. First looks can work beautifully or not at all depending on you. Don’t base your decision solely on logistics. Choose the option that feels most emotionally aligned with your vision for the day.

Whether you lock eyes during a private first look or save the reveal for the aisle, the magic is in the moment—and that’s something no timeline can dictate.